This Man on Women - Nos. 79-70

Our next group of ten babes:

79. Zhang Ziyi: She's a cutie, but she's no Sung Hi Lee.

78. Uma Thurman: I sometimes get the feeling that gay guys, when they're sitting around drinking white wine coolers and chewing the fat, always settle on Ms. Thurman when the conversation turns to, "Okay - if somebody put a gun to your head, which stupid bitch would you agree to sleep with?"

77. Heather Graham: She's pure, unadulterated ho-bag, and that's a genuine compliment said with the unfiltered sincerity of an Americorp's volunteer helping folks gut their houses in the post-Katrina Lower Ninth Ward of New Orleans. A national treasure.

76. Christina Milian: She looks fresher than a grouper at the Fulton Street fish market.

75. Samaire Armstrong: Young? Check. Cute? Check. Monkey woman thing going? Check. But at certain angles, she reminds me of an adolescent Susan Powter, which makes my johnson sag like the third act of "Titus Andronicus."

74. Kate Beckinsale: Rumor has it she's gonna' let someone fuck her in the next few years.

73. Lisa Ray: Half-Indian, half-Polish. There's a joke in there somewhere - possible punch line: "so you know where to put your finger when you tell her she's a dumb motherfucker" - but she's all-hot in my book.

72. Rachel Bilson: Plastic surgery isn't just for the aged anymore, apparently.

71. Molly Sims: What's irritating about Sims is she thinks she has to have a personality, which in a woman as hot as her is so beside the point I get dizzy. It's like reading The New Testament for fishing tips.

I don't care if that doesn't make sense. Beautiful women make me crazy.

70. Natasha Bedingfield: New Zealand also gave us Peter Jackson. I consider it a wash, kiwis.