New Year's

I thought I'd let you know I got so fucked up New Year's Eve that I tried to rape my - "our" - refrigerator. I kept slammin' my cock into the Fridgedair - stainless steel, hardcorin' it like the cold one was my cooze - until my baby yelled "bitch ain't cold; you're fucked up."

I said, "Bitch, you cold!" The 'fridge didn't say shit, so I kept on fuckin' it. Came all over the fuckin' icemaker.

- Brian Moore