The Golden Globes
A bunch of gals came into O'Shea's tonight wanting to watch something called The Golden Globe Awards. My reaction, like yours if you're not a chick or a homo, was what the fuck are the The Golden Globe Awards?
I thought letting the chicks have their way might end in a handjob to yours truly delivered under the back booth, but no handjob was worth this. What I saw was a bunch of prancin', mincin' Bonny Prince Charlie Hollywood bon vivants actin' like they owned the place, which they probably did considering all the money for nothing they get thrown at them.
I handled it quiet, though, like a gentleman. I told Pat the bartender to change the channel during one of the ads for disposable douche, then put my .22 on the bar in case anyone cracked foxy. Pat changed the tube to midget wrestling, something he gets on satellite in exchange for paying some raghead a fifty for the "Wide Globe O' Sports" package. The chicks were so drunk they thought the one in the unitard was Dustin Hoffman and the one in the Batman mask was a short guy who played Batman, so they were none the wiser. Apparently, it's "anything goes" at the Globes. Jesus.
Anyway, Hoffman won, so I lost five bucks to a gal from Weehawken* who kept screaming she blew Hoffman 15 years ago in the Port Authority men's room.
Who would lie about such a thing?
- Frank McManus
* I'm pretty sure I wound up fuckin' her.
I thought letting the chicks have their way might end in a handjob to yours truly delivered under the back booth, but no handjob was worth this. What I saw was a bunch of prancin', mincin' Bonny Prince Charlie Hollywood bon vivants actin' like they owned the place, which they probably did considering all the money for nothing they get thrown at them.
I handled it quiet, though, like a gentleman. I told Pat the bartender to change the channel during one of the ads for disposable douche, then put my .22 on the bar in case anyone cracked foxy. Pat changed the tube to midget wrestling, something he gets on satellite in exchange for paying some raghead a fifty for the "Wide Globe O' Sports" package. The chicks were so drunk they thought the one in the unitard was Dustin Hoffman and the one in the Batman mask was a short guy who played Batman, so they were none the wiser. Apparently, it's "anything goes" at the Globes. Jesus.
Anyway, Hoffman won, so I lost five bucks to a gal from Weehawken* who kept screaming she blew Hoffman 15 years ago in the Port Authority men's room.
Who would lie about such a thing?
- Frank McManus
* I'm pretty sure I wound up fuckin' her.
posted by Brian Moore at 8:25 PM
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