Cafone

The clan Moore was thrown into chaos recently when it was discovered our heritage wasn't 100 percent mick Irish but included some indeterminate percentage of dago Italian. Soul searching ensued, as you might imagine, to the point where we questioned whether our fabled talent for munitions was less the stuff of IRA freedom fighters and more the crazy wop foolishness of Sacco and Vanzetti. (The excessive drinking still came from the loins of Erin, we figured.)

We did take a dram of solace in the fact our Italian ancestry is of the northern variety - Milan, to be specific - and not Sicilian trash.

- Brian Moore